Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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