u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
