They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
