Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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