I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
