I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
