Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
