what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
