she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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