Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
