she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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