I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
