so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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