1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
