chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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