how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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