dude i'm inner monologue high
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
