my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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