Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
