why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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