Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
