FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
