Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
