Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
