I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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