Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize