Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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