no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
