its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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