redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
