and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
