Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
