I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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