spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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