Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
