If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
