oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
