i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i came on her dog
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
