So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
