we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
