is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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