school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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