like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
