Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
