You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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