Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
