i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
