It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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