K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
