Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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