It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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