I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
