my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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