Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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