I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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