I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize