my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize