i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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