that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
