I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
