Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
