We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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