I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
