she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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