You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
