"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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