Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
